A Million Little Pieces #5

James Frey writes his trip through drug and alcohol addiction treatment in his memoir A Million Little Pieces. Thus far in the story, James has woken up on a plane all beat up not knowing where he is. He is taken to a rehab facility in Minnesota and has a hard time accepting the program. He falls in love with Lilly, a former prostitute and a recovering crack addict. Along the way he chooses to go after her when she relapses and brings her back to the center. In the most recent section of the book, James prepares to leave the center. A few days before James is scheduled to leave, his best friend Leonard leaves. As a sort of going away present to his friends, Leonard caters in food and pays for the championship wrestling match to be shown on t.v. It allows the men to feel normal for a while and to relax. When Leonard leaves, he asks James to be a sort of son to him. James is honored, and accepts. After Leonard departs, James is on to the final step of his recovery that is to be completed at the rehab center. He writes a list of all his bad actions so that he can tell a priest and he can start his life fresh, with no regrets. While with the priest, James admits that he hates priests because while in Paris, he was sexually assulted by a priest and he beat the priest up so badly he might have died. After admitting everything, James feels renewed and ready to start his life over.





Throughout the book I have been struck by how well James describes the need the addicts have to fill themselves. This makes the addiction so much more real and powerful when it is an actual need, no longer a choice. While observing the men eat while watching the wrestling match James says, "The food is a drug, a drink, a chemical, a substance. No one cares that they are getting all they can handle, that they have more than they need. If they could, the men would eat the furniture, the bookshelves, the plates, the napkins, the banquet tables, the coffee machine," (Frey 378). Saying that the men would eat the furniture shows how great the need to fill is. If drugs and alcohol are not around, addicts still need to fill themselves. By carrying this immense need throughout the book, Frey does an excellent job of explaining that an addiction never goes away. Even in treatment, the men feel the need to fill. Though they get better at controling the need, it is always present.

As Leonard turns to leave, he gives James one last piece of advice. He says, "Be strong. Live honorable and with dignity. When you don't think you can, hold on. I'm proud of you and you should be proud of yourself" (Frey 391). This is incredibly important for James to hear. He feels that there are others cheering him on and supporting him, which he has never experienced before. He is used to being a disappointment, and hearing that someone is proud of him is something new to James. Knowing that Leonard has faith in James gives James more faith in himself. Leonard does not scold James for his past, he simply advises James on how to live out the future. Such hope makes James feel like he can live sober. Without Leonard to support him, it will be hard for James, but hopefully the last piece of advice will help James through it.

So far in treatment, James has been tested. He has come into direct contact with drugs, but has refrained because he had to rescue Lilly. Once he is out of the center, I am curious how he will do when faced with his addictions. I am hoping things will turn out for the best, but without something more important present to stop him, I am not so sure. Granted, I know that he stays sober because it says so on the back of the book, but I am attempting to read the story as if I don't know the outcome. Even so, I wish James the best of luck.

Source

Frey, James. A Million Little Pieces. New York: Anchor, 2005. *A Million Little Pieces should be underlined, but BlogSpot won't let me